Every goodbye... every talk to you later... the end of every phone call frustrates me.
When coming to relationships- of every kind- my solution to issues is to leave- to call it quits- to walk away from the issues. However, I am tired of running at the sight of every issue but how do I stay and cope with it. I always feel like I have something more important to do. Right now... at this very moment I am torn... I dont know what the hell to do but I dont want to say goodbye but my habitual behaviour is terrorizing me - poking me - telling me to run and dont look back...sighs
I am so hollow baby .. I am so hollow .. I am so hollow!
I think what adds to my frustration is that I must always appear strong and in control - how dare I appear vulnerable. This damn curse is preventing me from breaking down to you and saying I cant take it anymore. How would you know how this is affecting me if I cant tell you that on more than one occasions I have broken down. A woman should be strong .. hold down the fort right ?..right ? no signs of weakness right ? right ... right moms? ... sighs
One day I will crack and it wont be pretty. I have had to be strong from the age of 11--but come on a person can be strong, in control, and cry. Crying is not synonomous with weakness ... yet I cannot show you that it burns me. The very thing about me that attracts you is my doom... my burden.
I'm so I'm so hollow
I cant walk away..the heart isnt ready. I think I will just tell you that I hate having to say goodbye. I don't want to talk on the phone .. I want to cuddle ! I always want to cuddle
this journey... life eh boy... nothing I can't handle man
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1 comment:
the journey is at times crazy, daunting, difficult, and oh so worth it.
you will be alright sis. follow your heart. women can be both strong & vulnerable at once. that's what makes us so fly.
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