Is there a learning center in Tobago?

Idiots should not be allowed to raise kids.

Lord hasten my steps to get home.

I need the courage.

Dreams List

1. I will write a book entitled, 'Dear DHS/IRS, I am not an alien. - How I gained a 6 figures job at 25 and why I gave it all up at 28...'

2.

 

 

TBC - I en figure out d rest of my dreams yet ...

Space and Time

I wish I could place all memories in a container and just leave them be. I would extract the good ones when I feel like. I want to forget but I want to remember but I don't want to feel.

Choices

Who fights for me?

Pet Peeve #1

1. Ah hate to waste international calling card minutes ...

Happy Three Month Loc Day to meeee!

Celebration aside....

hear this sheeet...

Jamaica and I broke up in April 09.

He got a girl preggos in June 09.

She made the baby in February 10.

I found out about the baby on May 21, through googling his name and bouncing up on his twitter...

lol though we spoke often enough over the last year, he never mentioned the baby... once!

lol! U are the weakest link...

I love it.

I can laugh because:

1. Cue Jill Scott * I got something better at home *

2. whatevs... if we were supposed to have a kid we would have :)..

3. the whole facking thing is hilarious and I have better things to be bothered about... like what should I have for lunch .. tomorrow :)

I'm honestly blogging this just because. . .

By the way .. guess who will be home in less than 48 hours? Uh huh! Too blessed to be stressed .. what!

I am all over the place :)

And my locs are a hot mess :)

Same ting I say!

"I used to pray for a man who had potential, but that’s not my prayer anymore. Not only does he have to have potential, he has to have had accomplished some things in his life. He has to have a work ethic, because I don’t want to come home to someone sitting on the sofa playing PlayStation. I’m looking for someone who works as hard as I do. Who loves their work as much as I do, so at the end of the night we have something real to talk about, something exciting that makes our blood flow and boil. I need my man to be my homie. If you can’t help me grow, there’s no point with you being in my life."

Jill Scott

* Girl, I know exactly what you mean!

Come here Rude Boy

Do you like it boy
I wa-wa-want
What you wa-wa-want
Give it to me baby
Like boom, boom, boom
What I wa-wa-want
Is what you wa-wa-want
Na, na-aaaah

Buckle up
I'mma give it to you stronger
Hands up
We can go a little longer
Tonight
I'mma get a little crazy
Get a little crazy, baby

lol


BTW .. still have not loosened the hair -- 1 month bb

I missed him

Random Thoughts

He is the first person I think about every morning. I can't count the number of times he runs through my mind on a daily basis. I wonder what he is doing right now. I wonder if he is smiling. I wonder if he is thinking about me. .. missing me.. wanting me... half as much as I desire him. I wait for a sign.. . something/anything that signals he is thinking about me as much as I am him.

Nothing.

The mind races... are you in this alone? Is he just not that into you?

No way. He loves me. He said so...

This is silly.

But, I love him anyway

Love his intelligence.. he sparks my interest ... who would have thought..
Love his masculinity... most times. I need him to understand that showing love does not emasculate him. It is okay to make a person a part of your life. It does not make you weak.
Love his sex. I feel like he whispers 'I love you' with each stroke.
I love the way I feel when I'm with him... at peace.. smiling inside.

But fack!!

Sometimes.. I have doubts. Sometimes I just need him to say it is going to be alright. Sometimes I need something.

Yesterday, I told him we should just be friends...

My heart hurts.
Love is many things.
One thing it is not is confused.
When you love someone, you love him/her... screw ego, pride, masculinity, female independence crap.. u go after what you want.. right?

Guess not...

...

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible."

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D - Day

I will never loose my hair again! About time I did it!

Get Up!!!

Let's go another rounds! On the floor are all the negative thoughts I have about my potential. Standing up is V I C T O R Y!!

Persistence

"With willing hearts and skillful hands, the difficult we do at once; the impossible takes a bit longer."

FUCK!

FEAR
FAILURE
PROCRASTINATION
INSECURITIES


BOOM!

Seduction

Sexy baby... too sexy.

I will open my heart to him, jump off the cliff, and grow the wings on the way down.

Life is worth living!!! I cannot scream that any louder.

i. will. not. lose.

Dear ex,

I will not allow you to win. I will not carry the pain (I brought onto myself by staying with you 2 yrs. longer than I should have) with me. It will no longer be a burden to me and a punishment to other males that want to get to know me better. We tried. It did not work. The end. Our issues will not foster through future relationships or through continued resentment and bitterness towards you and other men. No. I am taking my soul and essence back. I will not lose the true me in this.

Thanks for the time we shared, good and bad.

Signed,
A Free - er Me

I hope to live by these words forever...

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Miami 2K9 and Trinbago Carnival 2010, Ah Comin'!!!

I'm prepping hard for these Carnivals! This body is going to be like Bam! Damn! Snap!

Needless to say, I'm going to be a Bad Bitch in my costumes!

Too scared

To love


Edited 1/1/2010 - Fuck that! I am not too scared for shit!