FUCK!

FEAR
FAILURE
PROCRASTINATION
INSECURITIES


BOOM!

Too scared

To love


Edited 1/1/2010 - Fuck that! I am not too scared for shit!

Much needed words of advice

"But there's a great book out called Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. Did you see that? That book says the statute of limitations has expired on all childhood traumas. Get your stuff together and get on with your life, man. Stop whinin' about what's wrong, because everybody's had a rough time, in one way or another."

Quincy Jones

Source

LOL!

Please note: although I am not on twitter, I can see everything you tweet. 

And everything your ex tweets back. 

How many licks does it take till u get to the center of the uhhh uh

LOL if JA found my blog and saw this post he would crack up!

This post is dedicated to the ladies out there that:
1. Never had the lick
2. Had it but it wasn't the ish
3. Are tired of begging for it
4. Have a man that refuses to give the lick
5. Wants to try a new "toy "
6. Uhhhh

... You get the point.

So I was watching Talk Sue, one of my fave shows, and a caller mentioned that her man just doesnt handle his business down there... hmmmmm! Anyway, a light bulb went off in my head and I decided to research tongue vibrators (New Venture perhaps?). I honestly was not expecting to find anything but look what we have here ladies *insert sly grin*

1. The Mini - At $44.95, it's a lil pricey I think. I wonder if it feels like the real deal or just flickers like the Rabbit? - HATE the Rabbit by the way..the ears irritate me(TMI). Hopefully the mini has a more realistic tongue motion.

2. The Velvet - Ahh this looks a lil realistic..no? The price is much more desirable. But, I don't know if I like the flicker, it seems more like a bzzzzzz than a flick, no?

3. Compilation of Licking and Sucking Toys - These sites have some really cool stuff.

Well, I didn't see any that I am particularly interested in but I mayyyyy try The Mini.

PS: If it is wack, I'm going to be out $45.00 and really pissed off.

Imagine Me ?!

Why am I crying? I am not sad! I am just sitting here and the tears came from no where... frigging crazy people behavior. I am so overwhelmed with emotions at this point, this very minute. I have never sat back and taken stock of my life - what I have done. I have been so focused on going forward that I have never looked back. For a brief moment, my mind just spanned the surface and I am so proud of me.

I wish I could call my father and tell him that I finally see myself as he sees me. He has been begging me to learn how to accept compliments and embrace the 'gift' that I have but for some reason it never registered for me. As I am 96 days from graduation it is hitting me. I am great! I am great! I am not mediocre! I am so gifted! wow! I did it! I did it Mommy! Your work was not in vain!

I might as well enjoy this breakthrough now... don't know how long it will last..

But for now, my inability to acknowledge my works is gone.. it's yesterday...

You may hurt but

After a while
You learn the subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
That love doesn't mean learning
And company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman,not the grief of a child
And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of
Falling down in mid-flight
And after a while you learn
That even sunshine burns
If you get too much
So plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone
To bring you flowers
And you learn you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
You learn
You learn
With every goodbye
You learn


After A While by Veronica Shoffstall

When it's cold outside

I need to worry cause I am so cold inside. The impact that a relationship can have on a person without he/she knowing is amazing... at least not until years after and in retrospect he/she realises damn the ending of that relationship really affected my life.

In my case, it was not a positive change...I feel so indifferent towards men (well except this one guy :D). I am so cold to the guys that show interest and I am seeing a pattern-seems like whenever the guy shows interest I find a way to run away-reminds me of my early teen years. Don't get me wrong I don't despise men and I am not a man-hater or anything like that .. quite the contrary .. but I don't know what it is..maybe I am stifling my feelings and emotions..u know numbing my inside... but why ?

O because I was so devastated by the failed relationship and I wish not to feel that type of pain again .. ok makes sense .. and some say blogs don't make any sense .. sense they do make ...
I just had a Dr. Phil moment there .. guess that explains why over the past two years I have been running away from the guys that I am attracted to and showing interest in guys that really have me asking "wha d arse I was thinking" ... see by dealing with the guys that I were not really attracted to I protected myself .. damn why did I do that?! I am so much smarter than that...

So although I was over the guy I was on the defense for a good two years.. hmm.. I know for a fact that after evrything was said and done I became more introverted and in a sense I became timid. Prior to the end of the relationship I never took No for an answer but I think after the terrible breakup I became a lot more accepting...someone said no and I would say ok.. but not anymore I'm bizzack .. the introverted personality stays but the timid behavior is gone - No is not an option.

Now my task is to teach myself not how to love again but how to allow someone to love me again. I have to wake myself up and be emotionally honest - easier said than done but I enjoy the challenge and the opp. for growth.

Well I will start by telling a guy that I am really attracted to that I am attracted to him .. so here goes...

D___ I am attracted to you and have been for a long time...

...sighs

That was tough, hope u were not expecting anything else .. like a full name perhaps :)

When it's cold outside
there's no need to worry cause I am so warm inside...