Miami 2K9 and Trinbago Carnival 2010, Ah Comin'!!!

I'm prepping hard for these Carnivals! This body is going to be like Bam! Damn! Snap!

Needless to say, I'm going to be a Bad Bitch in my costumes!

Catch me I'm falling

May 20, 2007 11:49 PM

You know that trust fall test - the one where you fall into the hands of the peeps that have your back.

Well ... I did it.

Yip, the self described loner took the big fall test.

I closed my eyes. Opened my hands. And Fell. Backwards.

And not one of you held up your hands to catch me.

Not one.

You all spoke to me on my way down .. sympathizing through your views and concerns

but not one of you held up your hands to catch me.

I may or may not forgive but I will never forget that ... so basically I will never forgive.

I will make an effort to though.

And don't worry about holding up your hands for me in the future...for I will do all I can to never fall into your hands again.

The trust is gone.

I miss him

My Heart by Lizz Wright

My Postsecret of the week

Why did I tell you ?









I feel like such a fool

When it's cold outside

I need to worry cause I am so cold inside. The impact that a relationship can have on a person without he/she knowing is amazing... at least not until years after and in retrospect he/she realises damn the ending of that relationship really affected my life.

In my case, it was not a positive change...I feel so indifferent towards men (well except this one guy :D). I am so cold to the guys that show interest and I am seeing a pattern-seems like whenever the guy shows interest I find a way to run away-reminds me of my early teen years. Don't get me wrong I don't despise men and I am not a man-hater or anything like that .. quite the contrary .. but I don't know what it is..maybe I am stifling my feelings and emotions..u know numbing my inside... but why ?

O because I was so devastated by the failed relationship and I wish not to feel that type of pain again .. ok makes sense .. and some say blogs don't make any sense .. sense they do make ...
I just had a Dr. Phil moment there .. guess that explains why over the past two years I have been running away from the guys that I am attracted to and showing interest in guys that really have me asking "wha d arse I was thinking" ... see by dealing with the guys that I were not really attracted to I protected myself .. damn why did I do that?! I am so much smarter than that...

So although I was over the guy I was on the defense for a good two years.. hmm.. I know for a fact that after evrything was said and done I became more introverted and in a sense I became timid. Prior to the end of the relationship I never took No for an answer but I think after the terrible breakup I became a lot more accepting...someone said no and I would say ok.. but not anymore I'm bizzack .. the introverted personality stays but the timid behavior is gone - No is not an option.

Now my task is to teach myself not how to love again but how to allow someone to love me again. I have to wake myself up and be emotionally honest - easier said than done but I enjoy the challenge and the opp. for growth.

Well I will start by telling a guy that I am really attracted to that I am attracted to him .. so here goes...

D___ I am attracted to you and have been for a long time...

...sighs

That was tough, hope u were not expecting anything else .. like a full name perhaps :)

When it's cold outside
there's no need to worry cause I am so warm inside...