Come here Rude Boy

Do you like it boy
I wa-wa-want
What you wa-wa-want
Give it to me baby
Like boom, boom, boom
What I wa-wa-want
Is what you wa-wa-want
Na, na-aaaah

Buckle up
I'mma give it to you stronger
Hands up
We can go a little longer
Tonight
I'mma get a little crazy
Get a little crazy, baby

lol


BTW .. still have not loosened the hair -- 1 month bb

I missed him

Random Thoughts

He is the first person I think about every morning. I can't count the number of times he runs through my mind on a daily basis. I wonder what he is doing right now. I wonder if he is smiling. I wonder if he is thinking about me. .. missing me.. wanting me... half as much as I desire him. I wait for a sign.. . something/anything that signals he is thinking about me as much as I am him.

Nothing.

The mind races... are you in this alone? Is he just not that into you?

No way. He loves me. He said so...

This is silly.

But, I love him anyway

Love his intelligence.. he sparks my interest ... who would have thought..
Love his masculinity... most times. I need him to understand that showing love does not emasculate him. It is okay to make a person a part of your life. It does not make you weak.
Love his sex. I feel like he whispers 'I love you' with each stroke.
I love the way I feel when I'm with him... at peace.. smiling inside.

But fack!!

Sometimes.. I have doubts. Sometimes I just need him to say it is going to be alright. Sometimes I need something.

Yesterday, I told him we should just be friends...

My heart hurts.
Love is many things.
One thing it is not is confused.
When you love someone, you love him/her... screw ego, pride, masculinity, female independence crap.. u go after what you want.. right?

Guess not...

...

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible."

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D - Day

I will never loose my hair again! About time I did it!

Get Up!!!

Let's go another rounds! On the floor are all the negative thoughts I have about my potential. Standing up is V I C T O R Y!!

Persistence

"With willing hearts and skillful hands, the difficult we do at once; the impossible takes a bit longer."

FUCK!

FEAR
FAILURE
PROCRASTINATION
INSECURITIES


BOOM!

Seduction

Sexy baby... too sexy.

I will open my heart to him, jump off the cliff, and grow the wings on the way down.

Life is worth living!!! I cannot scream that any louder.

i. will. not. lose.

Dear ex,

I will not allow you to win. I will not carry the pain (I brought onto myself by staying with you 2 yrs. longer than I should have) with me. It will no longer be a burden to me and a punishment to other males that want to get to know me better. We tried. It did not work. The end. Our issues will not foster through future relationships or through continued resentment and bitterness towards you and other men. No. I am taking my soul and essence back. I will not lose the true me in this.

Thanks for the time we shared, good and bad.

Signed,
A Free - er Me