Well here I am on this Saturday night/Sunday morning reading one of the best books I have ever read, Open Mike by MICHAEL ERIC DYSON-Reflections on Philosophy, Race, Sex, Culture and Religion. He keeps it real. I am only on Chapter One and I must say his ideology really stimulates my mind..makes me deeply question my views on some complex and pressing issues....
He has one foot within the "academy" and one foot rooted in the "ghetto", and as my favorite cultural anthropologist, Stuart Hall states, "...Dyson brings a high critical and spiritual intelligence to bear on the contemporary dilemmas of black folk."
Get the book.. ISBN #0465017657
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
When it's cold outside
I need to worry cause I am so cold inside. The impact that a relationship can have on a person without he/she knowing is amazing... at least not until years after and in retrospect he/she realises damn the ending of that relationship really affected my life.
In my case, it was not a positive change...I feel so indifferent towards men (well except this one guy :D). I am so cold to the guys that show interest and I am seeing a pattern-seems like whenever the guy shows interest I find a way to run away-reminds me of my early teen years. Don't get me wrong I don't despise men and I am not a man-hater or anything like that .. quite the contrary .. but I don't know what it is..maybe I am stifling my feelings and emotions..u know numbing my inside... but why ?
O because I was so devastated by the failed relationship and I wish not to feel that type of pain again .. ok makes sense .. and some say blogs don't make any sense .. sense they do make ...
I just had a Dr. Phil moment there .. guess that explains why over the past two years I have been running away from the guys that I am attracted to and showing interest in guys that really have me asking "wha d arse I was thinking" ... see by dealing with the guys that I were not really attracted to I protected myself .. damn why did I do that?! I am so much smarter than that...
So although I was over the guy I was on the defense for a good two years.. hmm.. I know for a fact that after evrything was said and done I became more introverted and in a sense I became timid. Prior to the end of the relationship I never took No for an answer but I think after the terrible breakup I became a lot more accepting...someone said no and I would say ok.. but not anymore I'm bizzack .. the introverted personality stays but the timid behavior is gone - No is not an option.
Now my task is to teach myself not how to love again but how to allow someone to love me again. I have to wake myself up and be emotionally honest - easier said than done but I enjoy the challenge and the opp. for growth.
Well I will start by telling a guy that I am really attracted to that I am attracted to him .. so here goes...
D___ I am attracted to you and have been for a long time...
...sighs
That was tough, hope u were not expecting anything else .. like a full name perhaps :)
When it's cold outside
there's no need to worry cause I am so warm inside...
In my case, it was not a positive change...I feel so indifferent towards men (well except this one guy :D). I am so cold to the guys that show interest and I am seeing a pattern-seems like whenever the guy shows interest I find a way to run away-reminds me of my early teen years. Don't get me wrong I don't despise men and I am not a man-hater or anything like that .. quite the contrary .. but I don't know what it is..maybe I am stifling my feelings and emotions..u know numbing my inside... but why ?
O because I was so devastated by the failed relationship and I wish not to feel that type of pain again .. ok makes sense .. and some say blogs don't make any sense .. sense they do make ...
I just had a Dr. Phil moment there .. guess that explains why over the past two years I have been running away from the guys that I am attracted to and showing interest in guys that really have me asking "wha d arse I was thinking" ... see by dealing with the guys that I were not really attracted to I protected myself .. damn why did I do that?! I am so much smarter than that...
So although I was over the guy I was on the defense for a good two years.. hmm.. I know for a fact that after evrything was said and done I became more introverted and in a sense I became timid. Prior to the end of the relationship I never took No for an answer but I think after the terrible breakup I became a lot more accepting...someone said no and I would say ok.. but not anymore I'm bizzack .. the introverted personality stays but the timid behavior is gone - No is not an option.
Now my task is to teach myself not how to love again but how to allow someone to love me again. I have to wake myself up and be emotionally honest - easier said than done but I enjoy the challenge and the opp. for growth.
Well I will start by telling a guy that I am really attracted to that I am attracted to him .. so here goes...
D___ I am attracted to you and have been for a long time...
...sighs
That was tough, hope u were not expecting anything else .. like a full name perhaps :)
When it's cold outside
there's no need to worry cause I am so warm inside...
Thursday, July 28, 2005
I'm coming out...
I have been hiding for quite a while. Firstly, my plans to go to grad school were deferred by the rejection letters... I hate that word - rejection. Well, the admin at the schools told me the same three things:
1. Strong application
2.Time/Work expererience will give you the seasoning that you need
3.Apply again in one year or two
I am not the least bit disappointed. As I said everything happens for a reason. I am going to take advantage of this time off. I plan to Live life.. Enjoy Life.. and transition from a young lady to a young woman. In this new mix of things I just might find a boyfriend...wow... John Legend's Ordinary People just started on mediaplayer.. I wonder if that's a sign ???
Secondly, I am working now. I love my job. The job description is so integrated and complex.. I will just say that I am doing whatever is required of me within the capacity of Operations Management. That would look great on my resume, won't it... "I was doing whatever the hell they asked me to do...steups." JP
*Motherless Child by John Legend is playing now*
Reminds me that I miss my mother deeply right now. I miss the comfort..the laughter..the happiness.....
Thirdly, stay tuned for my next post entitled, "There is this one guy"
Remember this blog will be different from the past one .. This is about ...
on second thought, just read the description at the top of the page.
1. Strong application
2.Time/Work expererience will give you the seasoning that you need
3.Apply again in one year or two
I am not the least bit disappointed. As I said everything happens for a reason. I am going to take advantage of this time off. I plan to Live life.. Enjoy Life.. and transition from a young lady to a young woman. In this new mix of things I just might find a boyfriend...wow... John Legend's Ordinary People just started on mediaplayer.. I wonder if that's a sign ???
Secondly, I am working now. I love my job. The job description is so integrated and complex.. I will just say that I am doing whatever is required of me within the capacity of Operations Management. That would look great on my resume, won't it... "I was doing whatever the hell they asked me to do...steups." JP
*Motherless Child by John Legend is playing now*
Reminds me that I miss my mother deeply right now. I miss the comfort..the laughter..the happiness.....
Thirdly, stay tuned for my next post entitled, "There is this one guy"
Remember this blog will be different from the past one .. This is about ...
on second thought, just read the description at the top of the page.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Ding Dong.. Harvard rings the bell
Wow.. what can i say ... this was not a surprise to me since I did not get an interview. Hmmm ... makes me wonder where I fell short in the essay section.. I guess I will know in time since they give feedback to college seniors that received the DING. The one thing I am learning from this experience is that Round 3 is a beyatch .. a gamble.. a big pressure cooker situation that i do not want any part of again in the future. I am not saying it is the reason for my ding, I am just calling it as I see it..way too many crabs in the barrel I guess.
I still have Wharton and Cornell to hope and anticipate for so all is not lost.
I believe everything happens for a reason so by the end of the month I will know the reason that these bells keep ringing in my ears... Stopppppp ringing and somebody say Congratulations already !! :)
Well to my fellow dingers we tried! and to those of you that got in Congrats!
I still have Wharton and Cornell to hope and anticipate for so all is not lost.
I believe everything happens for a reason so by the end of the month I will know the reason that these bells keep ringing in my ears... Stopppppp ringing and somebody say Congratulations already !! :)
Well to my fellow dingers we tried! and to those of you that got in Congrats!
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Ding Dong..Kellogg rings the bell
I know I have not been current with this blog as I wanted to but the application process and the demands of my final semester take up a lot of my time. However, I am here to share some "bad"news. I put bad in quotations because I do not see it as bad news..I see it as a hurdle to be crossed if not this year then in years to come. (I sound like a motivational speaker)
Well from the headline it is obvious that I received my first ding. Although Kellogg's notification date for Round 3 is May 2nd they decided to give some status updates early and I was a lucky recipient of an early status notification. I was casually looking through my email on Tuesday when I saw an email from Kellogg. I immediately said no it could not be..well yes it was. My heart began to beat so loudly that I was worried that the girl that was sitting next to me would hear it. Nevertheless, I visited the Kellogg site and the ding letter was there waiting for me.
What did the letter say?
I wish I could share it with you but it is "confidential and intended for the use of the individual...." so all I will say is that they gave me the 'It's not you, it's us' story. I don't know if everyone gets the same letter. I am curious about that. Anyway my letter emphasized that the decision is not a reflection of my merits or potential for success in management but a reflection of the limited number of places in the class :(.
O well..I will keep my hopes up for the other schools. I must admit that I was a little disappointed because Kellogg has a terrific general management program.
But everything happens for a reason and as I said it's not"bad"news..
O and another thing that I wanted to mention.....
I have been reading blogs and comments on forums and I have realized that some people feel that a ding is a terrible terrible thing. I don't know if my age has a lot to do with the way I see things, but a ding, IN MY OPINION, is something to learn from. Get feedback from the school(if they offer any) and apply this constructive feedback to your reapplication. In life and business, one has to be persistent and self motivated. You cannot allow one, two , or even five dings to stop you from acquiring a degree that you need to pursue your career goals. As a Trinidadian calypsonian once said, "You've got to try and try and try and try and tryyyyy until you succeed."
So thank you Kellogg for your response to my application and Congratulations to all the Round3 admits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well from the headline it is obvious that I received my first ding. Although Kellogg's notification date for Round 3 is May 2nd they decided to give some status updates early and I was a lucky recipient of an early status notification. I was casually looking through my email on Tuesday when I saw an email from Kellogg. I immediately said no it could not be..well yes it was. My heart began to beat so loudly that I was worried that the girl that was sitting next to me would hear it. Nevertheless, I visited the Kellogg site and the ding letter was there waiting for me.
What did the letter say?
I wish I could share it with you but it is "confidential and intended for the use of the individual...." so all I will say is that they gave me the 'It's not you, it's us' story. I don't know if everyone gets the same letter. I am curious about that. Anyway my letter emphasized that the decision is not a reflection of my merits or potential for success in management but a reflection of the limited number of places in the class :(.
O well..I will keep my hopes up for the other schools. I must admit that I was a little disappointed because Kellogg has a terrific general management program.
But everything happens for a reason and as I said it's not"bad"news..
O and another thing that I wanted to mention.....
I have been reading blogs and comments on forums and I have realized that some people feel that a ding is a terrible terrible thing. I don't know if my age has a lot to do with the way I see things, but a ding, IN MY OPINION, is something to learn from. Get feedback from the school(if they offer any) and apply this constructive feedback to your reapplication. In life and business, one has to be persistent and self motivated. You cannot allow one, two , or even five dings to stop you from acquiring a degree that you need to pursue your career goals. As a Trinidadian calypsonian once said, "You've got to try and try and try and try and tryyyyy until you succeed."
So thank you Kellogg for your response to my application and Congratulations to all the Round3 admits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Senior-itis and randomthoughtsitis
You know what .. I am leaving that previous post the way it is ... the interview went really really well. I feel confident about it and keep your fingers crossed until May 2nd.
I am having the worst case of senioritis. I don't feel to study or do any kind of school related work .. well that happens until I remember that the due date for the paper or exam is two days away then I flip into the "zone."
This post is going to be all over the place because it seems that lately I am having brief, random thoughts. I need to breathe , stop , get them to flow! (I made that up eh....Mase has nothing on me!) :D
This morning I was thinking that over the past three and a half years I studied a lot and did not realise it. As I look back I am wondering how the hell did I manage to still have a life.. well that is if you consider chilling at home 95% of the time a life. But I still wonder. It seems like since I touched the snowy pavements of Chicago I placed my body on automatic overdrive without even knowing it ...
What the heck .. it's done .. the good thing is I did not feel like my head was bursting and all the brains were going to be splattered on my bed.. lollolol... bear with me I just wrote a paper....
Anyways I need to stop wasting your time talking about nothing so I will end on this note.
I finalized my meeting with the Wharton interviewer today. It is at noon on Thursday 21st. Yip I am excited.
So that's it! The moral of this post was .. relax a little, smile a little, it prevents your head from bursting :
:)
I am having the worst case of senioritis. I don't feel to study or do any kind of school related work .. well that happens until I remember that the due date for the paper or exam is two days away then I flip into the "zone."
This post is going to be all over the place because it seems that lately I am having brief, random thoughts. I need to breathe , stop , get them to flow! (I made that up eh....Mase has nothing on me!) :D
This morning I was thinking that over the past three and a half years I studied a lot and did not realise it. As I look back I am wondering how the hell did I manage to still have a life.. well that is if you consider chilling at home 95% of the time a life. But I still wonder. It seems like since I touched the snowy pavements of Chicago I placed my body on automatic overdrive without even knowing it ...
What the heck .. it's done .. the good thing is I did not feel like my head was bursting and all the brains were going to be splattered on my bed.. lollolol... bear with me I just wrote a paper....
Anyways I need to stop wasting your time talking about nothing so I will end on this note.
I finalized my meeting with the Wharton interviewer today. It is at noon on Thursday 21st. Yip I am excited.
So that's it! The moral of this post was .. relax a little, smile a little, it prevents your head from bursting :
:)
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Kellogg Interview - Twas Beautiful
Ok I just typed a whole bunch of stuff to tell you all about the interview and it got lost ..
steupsssssssssssssssssssss
Will write it later
steupsssssssssssssssssssss
Will write it later
Monday, April 04, 2005
Wharton..drum roll please...says come for an INTERVIEW!!!.Arghhh!!! :D
Yip you heard it right. the request for Round 3 interviews are out and I got one :D...
me...little old me got an invite.
So this is how it works...
Wharton sends an email letting you know that your admission status has changed. Then you scream and check the status on Wharton's website.. all this time saying OMG OMG OMG. After this you see those wonderful words
The Admissions Committee would like to discuss your application in more detail through an evaluative interview.
:):)
Well I must say it is an honour. Things like this make the dedication to success and perfection all worth it. I have to send an email to an alumni member to set up the interview and needless to say I am nervous, scared, petrified :).
But remember peesps this is not the end.. far from it .. numerous individuals are dinged after the interview so although I am happy the happiness is shortlived.
Till we meet again ..muah
me...little old me got an invite.
So this is how it works...
Wharton sends an email letting you know that your admission status has changed. Then you scream and check the status on Wharton's website.. all this time saying OMG OMG OMG. After this you see those wonderful words
The Admissions Committee would like to discuss your application in more detail through an evaluative interview.
:):)
Well I must say it is an honour. Things like this make the dedication to success and perfection all worth it. I have to send an email to an alumni member to set up the interview and needless to say I am nervous, scared, petrified :).
But remember peesps this is not the end.. far from it .. numerous individuals are dinged after the interview so although I am happy the happiness is shortlived.
Till we meet again ..muah
Friday, April 01, 2005
Kellogg says come for an INTERVIEW
Well as customary with a Kellogg application I have an interview pending with an alumni. I hope that everything goes well and I don't scare myself to death or in this case to ding!!! I know my lack of work experience will most likely come to haunt me. BUT, I am prepared to answer that question with honesty. I honestly think I am capable of handling a rigorous MBA program, and I am willing to learn every element of business that I could not learn through work experience. Sooooo... keep your fingers cross for me .. I will keep you kids informed ok
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