-Sighs-

Well I am packing my stuff to move to my new place ... yea I am still packing ...these books !!!

I refuse to throw any quiz or even a journal away... so here I am still packing .. lil frustrated and really neeeding to talk...

RANDOM things I am thinking about while packing:

- When I get to the new apt. I will really settle down and finish my Round 1 apps
- I cannot believe how far behind I am in the application process
- Damn why is GCI playing these sappy love songs
- O I just bounced up on my old Kaplan GMAT textbook, handbook and CD...If anyone needs one I am willing to give it to you for free...
- Bounced up on Chicago Blues by Hugh Holton ... will give that away too...don't even know why I bought it
- It's so funny that the ones that we fall for are usually the ones that are not really interested in us
- Trey Songz baby, that voice, jeez ... "I don't wanna leave but I gotta go right now"
- Why are Accounting textbooks so damn big ?
- Damn my song is playing ... Stars by Kindred Soul ... "Each day I watch you get better at this... We've come so far stars look up at you baby baby .. my heart belongs right here next to you baby ..." Husband starts to sing "... If I had one wish it would be to stay together grow together.. it's not much to ask of us I know we can do it... We've come so far stars look up at you baby baby"
- I wonder what my mommy is doing right now
- I wonder if my co-worker is going to lose his job
- I wonder if my presence is affecting his performance
- Hmm just bounced up on my love box - keepsake of all the stuff from my ex ... postcards etc... should I dump it..think I will cuz I've let go ... well I will dump his stuff but I want my ceramic love box! (that I created myself Thank you!)
- What ever happened to Afrocencheck.com and heritagecheck.com. I cannot resort to these Mickey Mouse checks on the market. I think I will try uniquecheck.com
- O Shoooott -- Bow Wow's song is playing ... ahhhhhhhh make it stop! Let Me Turn It Down
- I had always secretly wished that I would one day weigh more than 120 pounds ... If you kno me you would know that that is nearly impossible
- The topic for the the Chris Michaels radio show is "How do you break up with a woman so that she gets the message?" I don't know about you but I think the topic should be switched a little...in my case, the men are the ones that seem to be hard of hearing... (I sure knew how to pick them)
- O my jam -- Keyshia Coles "First of all let me say you cannot accuse me of all the things u are guilty of... I might as well have cheated on you, as much as u accuse me of cheating.. I should have cheated." yea right! For some reason I just can't cheat.. I guess that's a good thing :S
- Damn I had $25.00 off my next purchase at "Hurt your damn footsole Bakers Footwear" and I forgot to use it.. Tomorrow for sure
- Shit! It expired on the 15th
- "When he touches me it's like Ohhh Ohh.. When he hugs me I'm like Ohhh Ohh .. When he rubs me I'm like ohhh ohhh .. I got him saying Girlll tonight .. Give me some Sade', some Marvin Gaye, some Isley, cuz when you touch me I'm like "
- Who is really reading this ? lol
- "I get so lonely, Can't let just anyone hold me .. I want no one but you ;) (hint! hint!)
- Ok enough with the relationship songs .. but hey those are the songs that GCI is playing
- Don't you hate hate hate it when you contact someone and he/she take forever to get back at you?
- WHY AM I NOT PACKING MY COMPUTER!!!

You may hurt but

After a while
You learn the subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
That love doesn't mean learning
And company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman,not the grief of a child
And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of
Falling down in mid-flight
And after a while you learn
That even sunshine burns
If you get too much
So plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone
To bring you flowers
And you learn you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
You learn
You learn
With every goodbye
You learn


After A While by Veronica Shoffstall

You are singing shit ... Full Stop

So I am up at 7 am today because I am hungry and sleepy ... yea I said I am up cuz I am sleepy. I am too lazy to make breakfast so I decided to listen to some music on the radio .. to distract me from my hunger nah.

Well I never hear more shit.(Actually I have but anyway..) This Bow Wow song "let me hold you down" has some of the dumbest lyrics ever:
Its what your coming with but Ima change all that
Rearrange that
Put you in the range all black
With the rims to match
Phone attached
TVs in the back
How you gon say no to that? Huh
Ahmmmm NO!

Look at me like now here you go
Really bout to blow some doe
But ain't nobody did it before so why is you so go hold it
Cause I believe this was meant to be
I just gotta work at it
Like a crack addict up in rehab


WHAT!? wha wha wha what Bow Wow .. you put real thought into that one .. deep !

I wonder what Huey would say about this ?

121 Dead

How does one react to this? 121 dead ... including 48 children?????

You wave your loved one goodbye ... and a couple hours later he/she is dead ? Never to be seen again ? Never...... NEVER

My little brother left for university today ... he is one and a half hours away from me yet I still cried when I left him there. . . But, I can see him next weekend or even call him at this moment...

O the grief of losing a loved one like this ... the shock .. the horror.. the pain... you can never speak to that person again for the rest of your life .. u won't see the person .. smell the person .. hear the person's voice... touch the person ...

Reading this article pained me tremendously. The graphic images available on yahoo barely represent the grief that those relatives and friends are going through right now.

My condolences to the family and friends of the loved ones.

My Postsecret of the week

Why did I tell you ?









I feel like such a fool

Best love scene...did I make a fool of you...? ? ?

If you are a love and basketball fan u kno exactly what scene I am referring to..

ME'SHELL NDEGEOCELLO

Fool Of Me
infid
I remember when you filled my heart with joy
Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space
'Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say
And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb
What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me

I want to kiss you
Does she want you with the pain that I do
I smell you in my dreams
But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye
No time no friendship no love
Don't say don't touch you I can't touch you no more
Can't touch you any more any more
I don't touch you anymore

You made a fool of me
Tell me why
You say that you don't care but we made love
Tell me why
You made a fool of me you made a fool of me

Open Mike on a Saturday Night

Well here I am on this Saturday night/Sunday morning reading one of the best books I have ever read, Open Mike by MICHAEL ERIC DYSON-Reflections on Philosophy, Race, Sex, Culture and Religion. He keeps it real. I am only on Chapter One and I must say his ideology really stimulates my mind..makes me deeply question my views on some complex and pressing issues....

He has one foot within the "academy" and one foot rooted in the "ghetto", and as my favorite cultural anthropologist, Stuart Hall states, "...Dyson brings a high critical and spiritual intelligence to bear on the contemporary dilemmas of black folk."

Get the book.. ISBN #0465017657

When it's cold outside

I need to worry cause I am so cold inside. The impact that a relationship can have on a person without he/she knowing is amazing... at least not until years after and in retrospect he/she realises damn the ending of that relationship really affected my life.

In my case, it was not a positive change...I feel so indifferent towards men (well except this one guy :D). I am so cold to the guys that show interest and I am seeing a pattern-seems like whenever the guy shows interest I find a way to run away-reminds me of my early teen years. Don't get me wrong I don't despise men and I am not a man-hater or anything like that .. quite the contrary .. but I don't know what it is..maybe I am stifling my feelings and emotions..u know numbing my inside... but why ?

O because I was so devastated by the failed relationship and I wish not to feel that type of pain again .. ok makes sense .. and some say blogs don't make any sense .. sense they do make ...
I just had a Dr. Phil moment there .. guess that explains why over the past two years I have been running away from the guys that I am attracted to and showing interest in guys that really have me asking "wha d arse I was thinking" ... see by dealing with the guys that I were not really attracted to I protected myself .. damn why did I do that?! I am so much smarter than that...

So although I was over the guy I was on the defense for a good two years.. hmm.. I know for a fact that after evrything was said and done I became more introverted and in a sense I became timid. Prior to the end of the relationship I never took No for an answer but I think after the terrible breakup I became a lot more accepting...someone said no and I would say ok.. but not anymore I'm bizzack .. the introverted personality stays but the timid behavior is gone - No is not an option.

Now my task is to teach myself not how to love again but how to allow someone to love me again. I have to wake myself up and be emotionally honest - easier said than done but I enjoy the challenge and the opp. for growth.

Well I will start by telling a guy that I am really attracted to that I am attracted to him .. so here goes...

D___ I am attracted to you and have been for a long time...

...sighs

That was tough, hope u were not expecting anything else .. like a full name perhaps :)

When it's cold outside
there's no need to worry cause I am so warm inside...

Bite Me!

Boondocks by Aaron McGruder
http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks/

I'm coming out...

I have been hiding for quite a while. Firstly, my plans to go to grad school were deferred by the rejection letters... I hate that word - rejection. Well, the admin at the schools told me the same three things:
1. Strong application
2.Time/Work expererience will give you the seasoning that you need
3.Apply again in one year or two

I am not the least bit disappointed. As I said everything happens for a reason. I am going to take advantage of this time off. I plan to Live life.. Enjoy Life.. and transition from a young lady to a young woman. In this new mix of things I just might find a boyfriend...wow... John Legend's Ordinary People just started on mediaplayer.. I wonder if that's a sign ???

Secondly, I am working now. I love my job. The job description is so integrated and complex.. I will just say that I am doing whatever is required of me within the capacity of Operations Management. That would look great on my resume, won't it... "I was doing whatever the hell they asked me to do...steups." JP

*Motherless Child by John Legend is playing now*
Reminds me that I miss my mother deeply right now. I miss the comfort..the laughter..the happiness.....

Thirdly, stay tuned for my next post entitled, "There is this one guy"
Remember this blog will be different from the past one .. This is about ...
on second thought, just read the description at the top of the page.

Ding Dong.. Harvard rings the bell

Wow.. what can i say ... this was not a surprise to me since I did not get an interview. Hmmm ... makes me wonder where I fell short in the essay section.. I guess I will know in time since they give feedback to college seniors that received the DING. The one thing I am learning from this experience is that Round 3 is a beyatch .. a gamble.. a big pressure cooker situation that i do not want any part of again in the future. I am not saying it is the reason for my ding, I am just calling it as I see it..way too many crabs in the barrel I guess.

I still have Wharton and Cornell to hope and anticipate for so all is not lost.

I believe everything happens for a reason so by the end of the month I will know the reason that these bells keep ringing in my ears... Stopppppp ringing and somebody say Congratulations already !! :)

Well to my fellow dingers we tried! and to those of you that got in Congrats!

Ding Dong..Kellogg rings the bell

I know I have not been current with this blog as I wanted to but the application process and the demands of my final semester take up a lot of my time. However, I am here to share some "bad"news. I put bad in quotations because I do not see it as bad news..I see it as a hurdle to be crossed if not this year then in years to come. (I sound like a motivational speaker)

Well from the headline it is obvious that I received my first ding. Although Kellogg's notification date for Round 3 is May 2nd they decided to give some status updates early and I was a lucky recipient of an early status notification. I was casually looking through my email on Tuesday when I saw an email from Kellogg. I immediately said no it could not be..well yes it was. My heart began to beat so loudly that I was worried that the girl that was sitting next to me would hear it. Nevertheless, I visited the Kellogg site and the ding letter was there waiting for me.

What did the letter say?
I wish I could share it with you but it is "confidential and intended for the use of the individual...." so all I will say is that they gave me the 'It's not you, it's us' story. I don't know if everyone gets the same letter. I am curious about that. Anyway my letter emphasized that the decision is not a reflection of my merits or potential for success in management but a reflection of the limited number of places in the class :(.

O well..I will keep my hopes up for the other schools. I must admit that I was a little disappointed because Kellogg has a terrific general management program.
But everything happens for a reason and as I said it's not"bad"news..

O and another thing that I wanted to mention.....

I have been reading blogs and comments on forums and I have realized that some people feel that a ding is a terrible terrible thing. I don't know if my age has a lot to do with the way I see things, but a ding, IN MY OPINION, is something to learn from. Get feedback from the school(if they offer any) and apply this constructive feedback to your reapplication. In life and business, one has to be persistent and self motivated. You cannot allow one, two , or even five dings to stop you from acquiring a degree that you need to pursue your career goals. As a Trinidadian calypsonian once said, "You've got to try and try and try and try and tryyyyy until you succeed."

So thank you Kellogg for your response to my application and Congratulations to all the Round3 admits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Senior-itis and randomthoughtsitis

You know what .. I am leaving that previous post the way it is ... the interview went really really well. I feel confident about it and keep your fingers crossed until May 2nd.

I am having the worst case of senioritis. I don't feel to study or do any kind of school related work .. well that happens until I remember that the due date for the paper or exam is two days away then I flip into the "zone."

This post is going to be all over the place because it seems that lately I am having brief, random thoughts. I need to breathe , stop , get them to flow! (I made that up eh....Mase has nothing on me!) :D

This morning I was thinking that over the past three and a half years I studied a lot and did not realise it. As I look back I am wondering how the hell did I manage to still have a life.. well that is if you consider chilling at home 95% of the time a life. But I still wonder. It seems like since I touched the snowy pavements of Chicago I placed my body on automatic overdrive without even knowing it ...

What the heck .. it's done .. the good thing is I did not feel like my head was bursting and all the brains were going to be splattered on my bed.. lollolol... bear with me I just wrote a paper....

Anyways I need to stop wasting your time talking about nothing so I will end on this note.

I finalized my meeting with the Wharton interviewer today. It is at noon on Thursday 21st. Yip I am excited.

So that's it! The moral of this post was .. relax a little, smile a little, it prevents your head from bursting :

:)

Kellogg Interview - Twas Beautiful

Ok I just typed a whole bunch of stuff to tell you all about the interview and it got lost ..




steupsssssssssssssssssssss




Will write it later

Wharton..drum roll please...says come for an INTERVIEW!!!.Arghhh!!! :D

Yip you heard it right. the request for Round 3 interviews are out and I got one :D...
me...little old me got an invite.
So this is how it works...
Wharton sends an email letting you know that your admission status has changed. Then you scream and check the status on Wharton's website.. all this time saying OMG OMG OMG. After this you see those wonderful words

The Admissions Committee would like to discuss your application in more detail through an evaluative interview.

:):)

Well I must say it is an honour. Things like this make the dedication to success and perfection all worth it. I have to send an email to an alumni member to set up the interview and needless to say I am nervous, scared, petrified :).

But remember peesps this is not the end.. far from it .. numerous individuals are dinged after the interview so although I am happy the happiness is shortlived.

Till we meet again ..muah

Kellogg says come for an INTERVIEW

Well as customary with a Kellogg application I have an interview pending with an alumni. I hope that everything goes well and I don't scare myself to death or in this case to ding!!! I know my lack of work experience will most likely come to haunt me. BUT, I am prepared to answer that question with honesty. I honestly think I am capable of handling a rigorous MBA program, and I am willing to learn every element of business that I could not learn through work experience. Sooooo... keep your fingers cross for me .. I will keep you kids informed ok

MBA Profile and Why??

Why am I even doing this?

I think that there is a lack of information out there for the young MBA pursuers like myself. When I say like myself I mean the recent college graduates that lack full time work experience and are wondering whether there is any hope for us to get into grad school.

With that said, my MBA applicant profile is as follows:
Age: 22
Nationality: Trinidad and Tobago
Status: Full time student at Loyola University Chicago
Majors: Accounting and Operations Management
Minor: Cultural Anthropology
GPA: 3.97 on 4.0 scale
GMAT:700 (93%) Q47(81%) V40(91%)


Stay tuned as I document my quest into a MBA program class of 2007