Hey Dad :)

You can kiss off! That's putting it mildly...

JP Morgan Chase Credit Card Financial Advisors?

.... Such poor customer service.

I ask whether a transaction would be deemed as cash or purchase.
The employee says purchase...no cash APR since you are performing your transaction online...

Two days later, after performing the transaction, I am faced with $169 in fees and a 21% Cash Advance APR...
So I have to pay for the mistakes of your poorly trained employees?

Bullshit!

I love this man

.... i simply do.

The Big Apple

So after sitting on my couch all day, everyday, I decided to drive over to New York, New York. After 13 hours of driving, and 2 speeding tickets, I am here...

Hopefully this mini vacay will come with some excitement, and drama, without those things my life will be way too normal.

I have some pics of the beautiful mountains I saw going thru PA, I will upload them later.

Links... I'm going to buy a roti.

Kiel

I have to get this out ... bare with me.

Words cannot describe how much I love this boy. I sit here and I don't know how to describe my attachment to this boy. He is my baby, my son, one of my reasons for trying so hard to be 'successful'... I have never ... ever ... felt a love like this before.

He must not be yelled at .. not even by his parents.

He must be nurtured, treasured, constantly told that he is loved.

He must be fed! Now this may seem simple but some mothers .. I swear!

... Most importantly, well besides having the best education available, he should be taken to the doctor if he is sick .. again, simple but some parents.. selfish.

Anyway...

So can you imagine my horror when I got this phone call from my mom a couple hours ago:

Goddess: Hey what's up?
Momz: Hey.............(long frigging pause)...........
Goddess: What Mommy?! *I have zero patience.. whatever*
Momz: Kiel is in the hospital
Goddess: Tears done trickling already... Living in the USA, and having some of your closest family in another country takes a toll you know ... my baby is in the hospital and I cannot be there....
Momz: Yea, hello?
Goddess: Wha happen to him *amazingly calm eh.. just still feeling the tears trickling*
Momz: He has a fever and his mom said he's looking terrible *that's the only time she takes action, when he is at his worst*
Goddess: The fever he has had off and on for a year now!!!!

A Year! Well at this point I'm so mad. If I could have gone home and taken him to a private doctor before I would have, but then again, I'm so tired of being the go to person. We all have responsibilities. If his parents had taken care of their's my 2 year old nephew would have been sound asleep in his bed right now.. not sitting on a bench in a damn hospital!

Do not even get me started about that blasted hospital. It is the only hospital on the island and it sucks! Imagine going to one of the free clinics where you don't need health insurance.. uh huh . then imagine that it is your ONLY option for a medical hospital .. uh huhh.

*Point of reference: It's 11:10PM CST, no one has tended to him yet! They arrived at 8:15PM CS T. I mean jeez at least give him something for the fever.. he's just sitting there, my baby, helpless...he's two for goodness sake!*

So now I wait... wait for the follow up call from Momz...

and hope.. hope that this is the wake up call his parents need. In an attempt to not put all the blame on the mother, I will TRY to put some on the father, but it's hard.. he's a great father in my eyes.. whenever pooh bear is with him he is healthy, vibrant .. but send him to the mother and losh!

To the irresponsible parents out there, Get Your Ish Together! These kids depend on you..

Could it be?

Am I becoming a consistent blogger again?

The last time I posted this often was 2005 (and by this often I mean two days in a row - March entries are really old entries from another blog).

Well I think the answer is yes. BUT this time I would prefer to remain as anonymous as possible. Thank You...

So if anyone is still out there hiii!

I will try to post at least once a day..TRY.

Anyway, yay!

How many licks does it take till u get to the center of the uhhh uh

LOL if JA found my blog and saw this post he would crack up!

This post is dedicated to the ladies out there that:
1. Never had the lick
2. Had it but it wasn't the ish
3. Are tired of begging for it
4. Have a man that refuses to give the lick
5. Wants to try a new "toy "
6. Uhhhh

... You get the point.

So I was watching Talk Sue, one of my fave shows, and a caller mentioned that her man just doesnt handle his business down there... hmmmmm! Anyway, a light bulb went off in my head and I decided to research tongue vibrators (New Venture perhaps?). I honestly was not expecting to find anything but look what we have here ladies *insert sly grin*

1. The Mini - At $44.95, it's a lil pricey I think. I wonder if it feels like the real deal or just flickers like the Rabbit? - HATE the Rabbit by the way..the ears irritate me(TMI). Hopefully the mini has a more realistic tongue motion.

2. The Velvet - Ahh this looks a lil realistic..no? The price is much more desirable. But, I don't know if I like the flicker, it seems more like a bzzzzzz than a flick, no?

3. Compilation of Licking and Sucking Toys - These sites have some really cool stuff.

Well, I didn't see any that I am particularly interested in but I mayyyyy try The Mini.

PS: If it is wack, I'm going to be out $45.00 and really pissed off.

Lame Ass Mutha ...

"Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don't want, no one minute man"

Note the time of this post! Why the couple above me just start to have sex?! Like creaking bed sex! Oh but I'm not bothered. Why you ask? Because the man is a notorious one minute man! And chick screams like that one minute is da bomb..sighs (now ladies we all know she is faking that ish... oooh ooooh ooooooh oooh .. shut! up!).

Jokes!

Mission Accomplished

I did it!
Well wishers, I did it!
Haters disguised as well wishers(Never thought I had these but as success comes my way I see the true colors of some coming out), I did it!

Today, June 15th, 2008, Goddess received her MBA degree from one of the top five business schools in the USA...#1 if you ask BusinessWeek ;)

I am so ecstatic. I dedicate this degree to my parents, my siblings, and my small network of close friends that have supported me throughout this journey.

Thank you all!

Now, let the rat race begin :)

BTW - I won't mention the haters again on my blog(y'all get your own damn blog). It's not that important. It's a hairflip :D

Relax & Renew

A wave of happiness, and peace is passing. I feel it. I embrace it. For I know this too shall pass. But for the days it's passing I wallow in it. It is that happiness that endures negativity, at times miserable boyfriends, and demanding class schedules. I face them all with a smile because something beautiful is happening inside.

Invictus (Unconquerable) by William Henley

Aug 18, 2007 1:51 AM

Out of the night that covers me

Black as the Pit from pole to pole

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced or cried aloud

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate

How charged with punishments the scroll

I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul.

Catch me I'm falling

May 20, 2007 11:49 PM

You know that trust fall test - the one where you fall into the hands of the peeps that have your back.

Well ... I did it.

Yip, the self described loner took the big fall test.

I closed my eyes. Opened my hands. And Fell. Backwards.

And not one of you held up your hands to catch me.

Not one.

You all spoke to me on my way down .. sympathizing through your views and concerns

but not one of you held up your hands to catch me.

I may or may not forgive but I will never forget that ... so basically I will never forgive.

I will make an effort to though.

And don't worry about holding up your hands for me in the future...for I will do all I can to never fall into your hands again.

The trust is gone.

I stole your significant other!!! I am the SHIT!

May 10, 2007 9:57 PM

It's one thing to see two people in a relationship,

know they are committed (whether they are happy or not)

and know that they have consummated the relationship with a child

yet still desire one of those persons.

It's one thing to act on the desire for that taken person,

aggressively pursue that person,

or positively respond to the advances of the committed person.

It's one thing to knowingly aid in the weakening of a family structure

for your selfish gain and that of the cheater

without thinking about the consequences of your actions.

It's one thing to then conceive a child with this cheater,

this committed person,

this person that has a responsibility to his/her family (whether he/she is mature enough to accept it or not).

BUT

It's another thing,

a despicable,

grotesque,

selfish,

callous,

malicious thing,

to then flaunt this affair, this indiscretion,

as if your actions are heroic,

as if you are a victor,

a winner of some esteemed competition.

When in actuality all you have shown is

your incapacity to experience guilt,

your total disregard for the feelings of others,

your immature sense of extreme entitlement,

your ability to offer "plausible rationalizations", for a behavior that has brought conflict to undeserving third and fourth parties.

So act accordingly,

for it is one thing to participate in this affair to begin with,

but another thing, to further embarrass yourself by feeling proud and boasting when you have conquered nothing.

Ladies go ahead and Settle

Mar 8, 2007 4:16 PM

Ladies go ahead and settle! We have no choice right. All men are the same right? Right? With that said, all you women out there with men that are unfaithful, do not support you, are terrible fathers, lack motivation to do something/anything productive in life, or liars...hold on to him. Do not let that man go because all men are like that. Do not desire better in your life whatsoever because if for some reason you decide to leave that man you will never find anything better.

Mommy, I know when you read this you will be really upset because you told me "man not running away...they will always be there and the older you are the better they are." But mommy, I can't chance it and wait a couple years because I need a man NOW.. I know you are upset because you said I should learn from those mistakes that you made and avoid them at all cost. But mom I can do what your generation couldnt do.. I can change a man mom. If he cheats I can stay with him long enough so that he is trained not to cheat again mom .. or he grows so weary that he becomes tired of cheating mom.

So.. Ladies go ahead and settle! We have no choice right. ALLL men are the same right? Right? or is it that we are attracted to the wrong kind??

Nahhh .. that's not it! All men are the same! Right?

So settle ........ let me know how it works out for you.

I am an invisible man.

Aug 13, 2006 7:49 PM

No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allen Poe; nor am I one of those Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids-and I might even be said to possess a mind. I m invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination-indeed, everything and anything except me.

Ralph Ellison from "Invisible Man"

Excerpt from The Song of the Banana Man

Jul 6, 2006 11:13 PM

'So when you see dese ol clothes brown wid stain,

An soaked right through wid de Portlan rain,

Don't cas your eye nor turn your nose,

Don't judge a man by his patchy clothes,

I'm a strong man, a proud man, an I'm free,

Free as dese mountains, free as dis sea,

I know myself, an I know my ways,

An will sing wid pride to de end o my days

Praise God an m'big right han I will live an die a banana man.'

by Evan Jones

A Strong Man is what it takes... by Niki Lasher

May 6, 2006 4:21 PM

i am big
but i am still a woman

i can work long hot hours in the sun
but i am still a woman

i can move my own sofa

i can endure hours of labor without crying

i can take a beating
and give a worthy return

i am strong
but i am still a woman

it takes a strong man
to remember that
when he sees me sweat

when i'm on my knees in the dirt

when i'm moving furniture
because it pays more than cleaning offices

it takes a strong man
to see corn pone quads
(you know, thick with a layer of grits over the meat)
and say
my god my god
what you've blessed me with

sometimes it takes a man
who can lift twice my weight
without straining

sometimes it takes a man
who can fluff and fold
without complaining

either way a strong man is what it takes
if it's gon' be a man at'tall

Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken

Apr 18, 2006 9:22 AM

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

10 Things I Hate About You...

I hate the way you talk to me And the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb Timberland boots And the way you read my mind I hate you so much that it makes me sick It even makes me rhyme I hate the way you're always right I hate it when you lie I hate it when you make me laugh Even worse when you make me cry I hate the way you're not around And the fact that you didn't call But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. *Taken from the Motion Picture, 10 Things I Hate About You...

Strength by Richard Stilwell

Apr 2, 2006 1:39 PM

Strength beckons,
Strength bonds,
Strength comforts,
Strength weakens,
Yet,
Strength is Non-controlling.

I'm excited!

Spring Break starts on Saturday and I cannot wait to start this baby!

Who are you trying to impress?

 Why is it that some people feel the need to be dishonest about their financial situation? I mean who are you really trying to impress!

So I was talking to a chick the other day and out of the blue she lets me know she is going shopping and does not have a spending limit ... :| So you know I'm turned off one time because quite frankly I don't give a flying fack what you buying and when you are buying it!

Anyway, the convo proceeds aimlessly for about 5 minutes or so before I make an excuse to leave. I'm tired of making excuses to leave convos lately. But anyway, what really ticks me off is that she is not going shopping and even if she is she is too broke to not have a spending limit. Now nothing wrong with being broke eh.. that's part of life for some of us.. but why go out of your way to create this lie?

What does this say about the type of person she thinks I am though. Does she think that I will judge her for being real-being broke...

or that I will be impressed by her sudden increase in disposable income...

Hmm. 

After A While by Veronica Shoffstall

Mar 26, 2006 11:38 PM

After a while
You learn the subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn
That love doesn't mean learning
And company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman,not the grief of a child
And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of
Falling down in mid-flight
And after a while you learn
That even sunshine burns
If you get too much
So plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone
To bring you flowers
And you learn you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
You learn
You learn
With every goodbye
You learn...

I'm in love and that's no secret!

Mar 9, 2006 1:32 PM

I'm in love and that's no secret, no
Givin me good love and I got to keep it, yah
He writes so many love letters I read them, yeah (yea right!)
He said mih arm is so soft as pedal
And, he's gonna need them

I said I wanna open your door with my key, yay
You and I were meant to be, in everyway
I'm gonna open your door with my key, yay
You and I were meant to be, in everyway
Oh! I'll never gonna give up on my Bob no time, no
Woman hold your dignity mi seh dat a your time, oh
..
You're so lovely, my Bob, I love you so oh oh
Baby stay by me, and don't let go!

I miss him

My Heart by Lizz Wright

Imagine Me ?!

Why am I crying? I am not sad! I am just sitting here and the tears came from no where... frigging crazy people behavior. I am so overwhelmed with emotions at this point, this very minute. I have never sat back and taken stock of my life - what I have done. I have been so focused on going forward that I have never looked back. For a brief moment, my mind just spanned the surface and I am so proud of me.

I wish I could call my father and tell him that I finally see myself as he sees me. He has been begging me to learn how to accept compliments and embrace the 'gift' that I have but for some reason it never registered for me. As I am 96 days from graduation it is hitting me. I am great! I am great! I am not mediocre! I am so gifted! wow! I did it! I did it Mommy! Your work was not in vain!

I might as well enjoy this breakthrough now... don't know how long it will last..

But for now, my inability to acknowledge my works is gone.. it's yesterday...

I stay by myself I don't deal with them!

Jan 28, 2006 7:07 PM

I aint gonna stop
I'm moving up
No turning back
So excuse me now!

I aint gonna stop
I'm moving up
No turning back
You cant confuse me now!

Sizzla

Is there no other option than abortion 4 ur babies

Jan 13, 2006 4:26 PM

Now I see them giving the woman abortion to kill another baby.
Miscarriage and misfortune and premature crack baby
Strength of Ras Tafari I'm hoping someday maybe
They don't obey their parents
Maybe they will obey me
Future for the babies
Hopes for the babies
Tomorrow for the babies
No sorrow for the babies
Babies having babies
Raising our babies
All of these young ladies
Give them thanks and praises
How long can she take it?
Dreams are full of maybes
Will she ever make it?
Hustles on a daily
In the club a shake it
Strip down ?til she naked
Don't ever mistake it
Much too real to fake it
Need it then she'll take it
She'll do it for the babies
A mother's love is sacred
Now you don't ever fail me


A woman needs caring, sharing, love all the time (no don't you ever fail me)
A child needs loving, caring?


Is there no other option than adoption for you babies
You're raffling and jacketing and auctioning your babies
Strength of Ras Tafari I'm hoping someday maybe
They don't obey their parents maybe they will obey me.
Cowards play the game thing
Fathers do the brave thing
And that's participating
He keeps on concentrating
There is no debating
No running away thing
A new life is awakening
From his ejaculating
It's in the oven baking
Takes two for the making
He's right there through the cravings
And early morning waking
School and educating,
Sports and recreating,
Karate and ballet thing,
Teenager of today thing
Fathers still relating
Still communicating
And they'll always embrace him
Cause they cannot replace him


A woman needs caring, sharing, love all the time (no don't you ever fail me)
A child needs loving, caring?


And always do your best to keep a promise to your babies
And if you can't be good at least be honest to your babies
The strength of Ras Tafari I'm hoping someday maybe
They don't obey their parents maybe they will obey me
History of the babies
Beginning of the ages
You're flipping through the pages
And up and through the 80's
Some are gang related
Drug affiliated
Some intoxicated
Headed for the snake pit
And Papa's locked in cages
And Mama's lacking wages
And this is what they're faced with
Upon a daily basis
Bleaching out dem faces
Running from dem races
Shooting up dem places
Killing other babies
As bitter as the taste is
And words cannot explain it
Just walk the narrow pavement
And speak of love not hatred.


**JUNIOR GONG**
FOR THE BABIES

Jah will be waiting there, We a shout! Jah will be waiting there

Jan 7, 2006 6:49 PM

Clean and pure meditation without a doubt
Don't mek dem take you like who dem took out
Jah will be waiting there we a shout
Jah will be waiting there!
In this world of calamity
Dirty looks and grudges and jealousy
And police weh abuse dem authority
Media clowns weh nuh know bout variety
Single parents weh need some charity
Youths weh need some love and prosperity
Instead of broken dreams and tragedy
By any plan and any means and strategy
Instead of broken dreams and tragedy
Youths weh need some love and prosperity
Instead of broken dreams and tragedy
By any plan and any means and any strategy
Ay! say...

I got to keep on walking on the road to Zion, man
You know...
We got to keep on walking on the road to Zion, man
cuz Jah will be waiting there!
*Junior Gong*

Finally!!

So I finally found my gmail password and stuff .. well I was just being lazy.

It's been close to a year damnit.. what has happened in my life?

1. New job starting August .. yay me!

2. Graduating in June .. ready to be over with it!

3. Still in love with my fam esp. my nephews.. Aunty woocie loves you

4. Lost some great friends-Found some great friends

5. Still in love

... TBC

If you love, you may get hurt, but love anyway...

Nov 5, 2005 12:51 PM

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

--Mother Teresa

When I really think about it...

Nov 5, 2005 12:45 PM

It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence.

~Paula Cole, "Me," This Fire

Our deepest fear ...

Jul 8, 2005 5:49 PM

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.


Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles," 1992 (commonly misattributed to Nelson Mandela, 1994 inauguration speech)